Saturday 5 December 2015

Ten British zombie features we're waiting to see

Geek Undead (dir. Jason Jackson)

Synopsis: “Chris is an IT Support tech by day, by night he is a fearless zombie slayer, well in his dreams he is. In reality, he is a shy and secluded guy who spends his spare time watching zombie movies and playing video games He's seen and played everything zombie, but when the zombie apocalypse begins in his home town, is he as prepared as he thinks he is? Will his knowledge of the undead from movies and games be enough to help him defeat the hordes of the undead about to unleash their devastating plague upon the earth? Armed with unlimited knowledge of zombies and sledgehammer sarcasm, he and a small group of his friends may be the last line of defence against the end of the world. Who will survive and what will be left of them?”

What do we know? This was shot between July and September 2013 and no-one in the cast seems to have ever made anything else. Which is fine and all. But the Twitter feed dried up in October 2013 and since then, not a thing. No video, no images. Is this lost forever?

Will we see it in 2016? No chance

Ibiza Undead (dir.Andy Edwards)

Synopsis: “The story follows a group of friends on their first holiday away from their parents on the island of Ibiza in the Mediterranean. After one drunken evening, a zombie outbreak quickly spreads amongst the revelers. The group begins a desperate scramble to get off the island.” (NB. This basic premise is not dissimilar to the Indian film Goa Goa Gone, though I’m sure the films will be very different.)

What do we know? Shot in October 2013 on the titular island (with pick-ups in London in January 2015). Edwards directed some of the House Party of the Dead shorts as well as segments of Three’s a Shroud and Blaze of Gory. Producer Elisar Cabrera has a film history that goes right back to Demonsoul. The cast includes Matt King from Peep Show, Emily Atack from The Inbetweeners and Cara Theobold from Downton. In October 2015, composer Chris J Nairn tweeted “Tackling @IbizaUndead over the last couple of days. I like to think the sound is contemporary with plenty of disgusting #NewGenre”

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Will we see it in 2016? Probably

Invasion of the Not Quite Dead (dir. AD Lane)

Synopsis: “In 1978 the Welsh Mountains are infected by an alien bacteria. 28 years later a small community must face the threat of an alien invasion of the NOT QUITE dead variety in this spoof of Zom B-MOVIES.”

What do we know? Anthony Lane has been working on this for the best part of a decade, having launched his ‘Indywood Project’ on 1st January 2007. This was one of the first ever attempts at crowdfunding a film: neither Indiegogo nor Kickstarter existed at this point and in fact even the term ‘crowdfunding’ had only been coined a few months earlier. The first footage was shot in 2011 and sporadic bits of filming have continued since then. Props to Lane for his dedication and I hope he can get this finished one day. JR Bookwalter and Lane’s mentor Ken Russell are among the credited executive producers.

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Will we see it in 2016? Unlikely

Meet the Cadavers (dir. David VG Davies and ‘Lord Zion’)

Synopsis: “Meet The Cadavers - An ordinary family just like yours or mine. Except they're Zombies. Meet The Cadavers is the first in a series of The Cadavers movies. This is an up-to-date version of The Addams Family or The Munsters.  In this first movie, their nemesis is a slasher. In subsequent films, there will be different foes. The humour is very current and rude. The two lead boys have an Inbetweeners style relationship; the humour reflects that.”

What do we know? Shot over ten non-consecutive days in October-December 2013, the last word from this horror-comedy was in February 2015 when it was announced that the first edit of the film was on the verge of completion. It’s been quiet as the grave since then. David VG Davies is a well-known British horror name from Animal Soup, Monitor, A Killer Conversation etc but this is primarily the baby of the fellow who calls himself ‘Lord Zion’ (who also stars as the family patriarch).

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Will we see it in 2016? Possibly

Night Fall (dir. Brel Offkel)

Synopsis: “Shortly after a mysterious object crashes to Earth, people start to evolve into frenzied monsters with a hunger for human flesh. Hordes of zombies run the streets during daylight, making nightfall the only safe time to leave the house.”

What do we know? In February 2014 it was reported that “Director Brel Offkel has already started production on his second feature film, Night Fall, an extra-terrestrial zombie terror.” The film stars British horror regular Nathan Head who has a collection of stills and behind-the-scenes photos on his website Director Brel Ofkel’s other feature Apparition of Evil was released in October 2014 but this one seems to have vanished and it’s debatable whether it was ever completed.

Will we see it in 2016? Highly unlikely

Night of the Living 3D Dead (d.Samuel Victor)

Synopsis: Does what it says on the tin: a 3D remake of NOTLD.

What do we know? Starring Gemma Atkinson from Casualty and Emmerdale. Not to be confused with Jeff Broadstreet’s Night of the Livng Dead 3D or Zebediah De Soto’s Night of the Living Dead Origins 3D (or indeed James Plumb’s 2D British film Night of the Living Dead: Resurrection). Bizarrely, the last thing that happened with this one was that the film-makers released a stand-alone feature-length Making Of documentary, Raising the Dead, on DVD. Of the actual film, there is no sign at all.

Will we see it in 2016? No chance

She Who Brings Gifts (dir. Colm McCarthy)

Synopsis: “She Who Brings Gifts is a post-apocalyptic sci-fi zombie thriller. The eagerly-anticipated feature takes place a generation after the world has ended. Four adults and a unique child will decide the fate of humanity. The leading character Melanie (played by Sennia Nanua) is a seemingly normal, intelligent girl who lives with other children in an underground army bunker. With a fungus having infected the earth, the children are experimented on by scientists.”

What do we know? Check out this photo. Paddy Considine? Gemma Arterton? Glenn Close??? Crikey, that’s a cast and no mistake. This decently budgeted feature (adapted by MR Carey from his own novel The Girl with All Gifts) was filmed in Birmingham, Dudley and Stoke-on-Trent in May-June 2015 Director Colm McCarthy previously helmed borderline werewolf feature Outcast plus episodes of Doctor Who, Sherlock and Ripper Street.

Will we see it in 2016? Hopefully.

The Snarling (dir. Pablo Raybould)

Synopsis: “When a cursed new horror film is being made in their village, locals Les, Mike and Bob see their chance to cash in and get famous. As the local Detective Inspector and his hapless sergeant Haskins eventually trace a link in recent bloody mutilations to the film, the race is on to stop the killings before our local heroes get caught up in the real blood and guts.”

What do we know? A comedy-horror about a monster attacking the cast and crew of a zombie film isn’t strictly a zombie film but effectively, yes, it’s a zombie film. Scheduled to premiere at Horror-on-Sea in January 2016. Mind you, that doesn't necessarily lead anywhere. Director Pablo Raybould was in the cast of Evil Bread which played at the 2014 HoS and promptly disappeared again.

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Will we see it in 2016? Only in Southend

Welcome to Essex (dir. Ryan J Fleming)

Synopsis: “Overnight, the United Kingdom was consumed by an epidemic of terrifying proportions. The majority of the population were killed in a matter of hours as millions of recently-killed people returned to life and began to attack and kill the living. The disaster spread so rapidly that the government had no time to control the situation. The order to evacuate England was given. But it was too late. Now, the following day, a small group of mismatched survivors find themselves trapped in the famous town of Brentwood, hunted by large hordes of fast-moving corpses. They must learn to work together and reach the last-known point of rescue, Southend-on-Sea, or face certain death. Or worse.”

What do we know? This was mostly filmed in 2013: apparently a thousand zombie extras rampaged down Brentwood High Street in September of that year. The last Facebook post, in August 2015, reported that post was continuing and “the film is still on course for a late-2015 release”. Well, they’ve got three weeks left.

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Will we see it in 2016? Can't see why not

Zombie Women of Satan 2 (dir. Chris Greenwood)

Synopsis: “Following the release of Zombie Women of Satan, the movie about the events of the first film, Pervo's career hasn't quite gone to plan. Shunned and unwanted, he's a fading star. But not to be defeated, he returns to this sequel with a new manager, a trusty bodyguard and the beautiful actress Dahlia Von Rose as they tour the country promoting their new movie. With things looking bleak though, it seems Pervo's fifteen minutes of fame are just about over. However, a chance encounter with a mystery millionaire could turn all their fortunes around. But is it a chance encounter? Or a diabolical revenge plot? Lured to a party at an enormous mansion, all is going well until those zombie women escape and end up running wild.”

What do we know? Say what you like, I thought Zombie Women of Satan was great and I am really stoked to see this sequel. Even if it was originally promised in 2013.

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Will we see it in 2016: I bloody hope so!

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