Trick or Treat

d. Ed Boase; w. Geraint Anderson; p. Geraint Anderson, Craig Kelly; cast: Craig Kelly, Dean Lennox Kelly, Maimie McCoy, Frances Barber, Shaun Parkes, Jamie Sives, Jessamine-Bliss Bell

The director of the impressive Blooded, terrible The Mirror and unreleased An American Exorcism does a solid job on this work-for-hire gig for city stockbroker Anderson. It’s a crime thriller with horror trappings, set in Blackpool on Halloween (technically the early hours of 1st November). Former gangster Greg (C Kelly: Corrie) is facing a mid-life crisis – wife, baby, 45th birthday – when his disreputable brother Dan (actual brother DL Kelly: Shameless) turns up with a dead body, followed by two gangsters looking for Dan. Greg is drawn back into a shady, dangerous, violent world he left behind but halfway through starts to doubt the reality of what he is experiencing, partly because of hallucinations which may be psychic ability or a remnant of the pill-popping raver youth he misses. Anderson’s script has some satisfying twists and turns, especially the end. A fine cast includes Kris Marshall as a copper, Jason Flemyng as a taxi driver and Hugo Speer as a comedian on TV. Maeve O’Connell’s great night-time cinematography captures Blackpool’s seedy underbelly perfectly.

Trick or Treat has a limited theatrical release on 25th October 2019 in cinemas in northwest England.

The Witching Hour

d. Adam Evans; w. Neil Morris, Gary Smart; p. Chris Griffiths, Neil Morris, Adam Evans, Gary Smart, Stuart Conran; cast: Kenneth Cranham, Mark Wingett, Simon Bamford, Ian Gelder, Bruce Jones, Corin Silva, Jamila Martin-Wingett, Neil Cole, Gemma Gordon, Ethan McKinley

The fourth Dark Ditties film is the longest and in some ways the most conventional, although it becomes more complex as one considers connections to the other three. A cheesy paranormal investigation TV show films an episode in the same stately home where The Offer took place. On the verge of cancellation, psychic Marvin La’Fantome and cynical Selwyn Parsons have one last chance to recover their ratings – but a real supernatural danger lurks in the shadows for cast and crew. As ever, Morris and Smart’s script creates a set of unpleasant but fascinating characters, brought to life by an exemplary cast, both stock players and newcomers. Magnificent photography by Terrence Wilkins and Ben Halford, a beautiful score by American composer Sean Schafer Hennessy and of course Stuart Conran’s top-notch effects are all part of the hugely enjoyable Dark Ditties brand. Two further titles, Dad and Welcome to Upton, are promised for 2020.

Wolf

d. Stuart Brennan; w. George McKlusky; p. Stuart Brennan, Mark Paul Wake; cast: Stuart Brennan, George McKlusky, Mark Paul Wake, Adanna Oji, Austin Caley, Victoria Morrison, Ross Anderson, Jennifer Chippendale

When a squad of soldiers is attacked by werewolves in the Scottish Highlands, comparisons to Dog Soldiers are inevitable – albeit Wolf is set 18 centuries earlier. Brennan’s Roman horror has a team of legionaries and associates searching for missing messengers. After fighting some Picts, they’re stalked by barely-glimpsed, fast-moving beast-men so head back towards Hadrian’s Wall. Much of the film is frustratingly slow and talkie, but the characters are interesting and most of the acting is good. When we eventually see the attackers they’re naked guys with fangs (which contradicts the bipedal wolf pawprints found earlier). Nevertheless this ambitious, high concept horror – legionaries vs lycanthropes – merits a watch, if only for the impressive costumes and Simon Aukes’ top-notch cinematography which incorporates stunning drone shots of the snow-covered landscape. McKlusky is George McCluskey (The Zombie King). Many of the cast also worked with Brennan on Plan Z, The Necromancer and A Christmas Carol. Horrible Histories author Terry Deary was executive producer.

(Four stars.)

A few words about the future

For more than two decades now I’ve been patiently documenting the British Horror Revival. What started out as an interesting collection of distinctively social realist horror films has blossomed and expanded and kept on expanding. So that the comparatively short period covered by my post-2000 British horror masterlist now accounts for about 80% of all UK horror films ever made.

This is insane, clearly. It’s like letting other people write about the Premier League while I write about every other football club in Britain, right down to Sunday morning amateur teams.

I have already written one book, Urban Terrors, covering the British Horror Revival from its late 1990s origins up to the singularity of Mum and Dad, the first UK film released simultaneously in cinemas, on DVD and on VOD. Over the next few years I will be publishing my magnum opus: a complete catalogue of every British horror movie 2000-2019. About 1,050 films spread over three volumes, with a fourth collecting together 300+ incomplete/unreleased features.

I’m ten films away from completing Volume 1 (Volumes 2 and 3 are also mostly complete). I expect to produce that next year. Presumably self-published, unless anyone wants to make me an offer.

Next year. 2020. A new decade.

Here’s the thing. I really don’t want to keep on doing this for another ten years. I’m 51 now. I have other half-written books I want to finish before I die. I have other films I want to watch.

My masterlist will close for good on 31 December 2019. Obviously I will still be discovering films and releases which precede that date for many months to come, filling in gaps and revising data. But any film released on 1 January 2020 or later is outside my remit. I want my life back.

This is where you come in. I’ve spent all this time cataloguing and reviewing these films because Somebody Had To Do It. Unless someone takes the trouble to document these films when they appear, they will be lost to researchers forever. (You can’t rely on the IMDB. Plenty of the films on my list aren’t on the IMDB and many others have incorrect data.)

So this is an open invitation. If anyone wants to take up the mantle of British horror film historian for the next decade, you are very, very welcome. The post is about to become vacant and I would love to see it filled.

It would be up to you what criteria you establish for inclusion on your masterlist; I’m not going to prescribe anything like that. But I will say that this is a big job which requires constant prowling and digging around all corners of the web. You can’t just set up an alert and wait for things to come to you. These films can get released in any medium in any territory. This is a job for someone obsessive who loves looking for stuff and eventually finding it. It can be tedious, but it can also be very rewarding.

Perhaps a group of you want to do this. Perhaps two or more people will take on the gig separately and compete to see who can unearth the information first. I really don’t mind. It’s not up to me. I can give you nothing but my blessing.

But I do hope that someone will take on this mantle. Because otherwise, the recorded history of British horror cinema, from the silent era through the golden age of Hammer and Amicus, and then into the boom years of the early 21st century will suddenly lurch to a halt in 2020. Film historians of the future will have an impossible job trying to find this stuff if no-one records it at the time. What they’ll be left with is an unrepresentative handful of high-profile releases that won’t in any way reflect the actual state of the genre.

And that would be a real shame.

Double Date

d. Benjamin Barfoot; w. Danny Morgan; p. Maggie Monteith, Matthew James Wilkinson; cast: Danny Morgan, Georgia Groome, Michael Socha, Kelly Wenham, Dexter Fletcher, Robert Glenister, Rosie Cavaliero, James Swanton

Very, very funny – but also enjoyably gory – Barfoot’s debut benefits from crisp direction and a quartet of solid performances. On his 30th birthday, virginal ginger nice guy Jim goes out clubbing with vampishly glam Lulu and her pretty sister Kitty. Making up the foursome is Jim’s disreputable friend/mentor Alex (the always reliable Socha on absolutely top form). We know from an effective splash panel prologue that the sisters are psycho witch bitches, which Jim and Alex discover in a terrific third act back at the girl’s massive country house. The Lulu/Alex fight is a masterpiece of comic, bloody action, and Swanton (Frankenstein’s Creature) turns up under heavy make-up as the reason behind all this. Middle act visits to Jim’s happy-clappy Christian family and Alex’s trailer park dad (Fletcher, killing it as usual) provide characterisation and context, while also driving the plot. Shot in London in 2016, this premiered in Edinburgh in June 2017 and should not be missed. Available now on digital, DVD and Blu-ray.

Enjoy Richard Driscoll's unfinished new website

Richard Driscoll doesn’t have a new film out – but he does have a new website: https://dragonstudios.biz

DRagon is the company he created to release Grindhouse Nightmares – and yes, it is supposed to have two capitals letters. That’s not a typical Driscoll typo, but it is a typical Driscoll idiosyncrasy.

To be fair to the man, the site is not finished yet and still contains some dummy text. Also the Facebook and YouTube icons at the bottom of each page actually point to the social media of this fitness coach.

There’s some stuff on here about Conjuring: The Book of the Dead (“based on M R James book Casting the Runes”) which is the latest incarnation of what used to be The Raven Part 2 and has been called many, many things since then. The Conjuring trailer is just a YouTube placeholder but fear not, Dicky-fans, because the actual trailer is on Vimeo, with lots of previously unseen stuff.

Also listed, rather oddly, is Ossidio Assonitis’ The Devil Within Her, which presumably Driscoll has bought the rights to (or think he has bought the rights to). It’s an odd choice. Then there’s Eldorado, Grindhouse Nightmares (under its original title Grindhouse 2wo), Kannibal, Legend of Harrow Woods and three Linnea Quigley-hosted clips shows: Sexploitation, World of Kung Fu and Hollywood Celebrities Exposed.

Best of all is news on a potentially brand new Driscoll feature. What’s that film coming to cinemas in a few weeks? Joker? Well then, Tricky Dicky Risk-All has to bring us… Jester!

This is the story of 2 men from different sides of the street. The first is Arthur Nemski a Youtube blogger and corner shop worker from a normal background who is dragged into a world of vice and murder. Arthur is beaten and bruised when he stumbles into the world after delivering a bag of groceries. Arthur knows nothing about what is to become of him and his alter ego the JESTER.

Next is disgruntled Police Detective Frank McMillan, who decides to take the law into his own hands after the death of his partner. Frank decides to retire from the New York Police Department and transform into The BLACK KNIGHT a Batman style vigilante hero to enforce his own type of law.

The Black Knight was a working title of what became Assassin’s Revenge which included a Joker rip-off character so presumably the two films will share some content. Or not.

(Incidentally there’s no mention on the site of Assassin’s Revenge or Driscoll’s mooted motor sport biopic Born 2 Race though you can watch a trailer for that here. Nor of his oops-too-late Tarantino rip-off concept Once Upon a Time in Hollyweird.)

All the above will allegedly be available online, via the website, from November. It’s ‘DRagon Online Cinema’ and I’m not holding my breath for it. There’s a bunch of other goodies on the site which I’ll let you explore for yourselves, but do please remember that (a) it’s not finished yet, and (b) lorem ipsum dolor. Richie still has to cross the Is and dot the Ts.

As far as I can tell, DRagon Film Studios has no connection with the existing film-making facility Dragon International Film Studios.

Headshots

d. Chris O’Neill; w./p. Rochelle Carino, Chris O’Neill; cast: Nika Khitrova. Olivia Castanho, Chris O’Neill, Dani Savka, Christina De La Ossa, Thomas Ohrstrom

Passable LA-set, UK-produced horror thriller that successfully pulls off an impressively complex structure and an end-of-act-one narrative switcheroo. British actress Jaime moves to Hollywood, hoping for a break, where she finds that all the women are desperate wannabe film stars and all the men are creepy professional photographers. When Jaime stops calling home, her brother and sister lock up their tea shop and jet across the Atlantic to search for her. Some creepy exual fetishism leading to savagely calm stabbings and face peelings provides the horror and raises the question: how do you get blood out of velvet? London-raised Russian-Lithuanian Khitrova was in Enchantress before she moved to the States. Ex-pat Yorkshireman O’Neill’s first feature was crime romp Absolute Debauchery. This premiered in December 2018 at the Culver City Film Festival. An opening caption reckons 42,000 people go missing in LA every year and “none are ever found” – rather damning of the LAPD! A VOD release is planned for late 2019.